Just keep going
by Paradise'sCity
Summary: <html><head></head>Not everybody can be a Katniss Everdeen. This is the story of Alexis Montclaire in the 68th Hunger Games, as she faces a life of love, hurt, anger, and friendship. Of what it's like to change what and who you are, to make it out alive. Disclaimer: I don't own The Hunger Games. *Editing in progress</html>
1. Chapter One

**Hey guys! Sorry for taking so long it's just I was having a hard time deciding what to do with this, but I got it. This chapter is completely different. If you're just reading my story now, ignore the jibber jabber that I just said. Hope you all like it!**

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><p>"<em>You know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through. If you were in my shoes you'd fall the first step."<em>

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><p>The sound of waves hitting the shore wakes me from my sleep. I open my eyes to a dark blue sky, and the smell of sea water fills my lungs. I roll over and yawn, and then suddenly I'm falling. I hit the ground with a thud and it takes me a while to get up and rub the sleep from my eyes. The bench I slept on is in front of the docks, but this morning there are less people heading out on their boats. A nervous feeling sets in the pit of my stomach as I remember what day it is. Reaping Day. I sigh and rub the cold from my arms and try to remember how I got here.<p>

_Yelling. Shouting. Pleads. I can't take it anymore._

I shake my head trying to rid it of the blurry memories from last night. It looks to be around 4 in the morning, which means I have to go to work soon. Well, this day started off great. "Just get on with it," I mumble to myself, and then start the long walk home.

Shops and stalls line the perfectly paved streets, with only very few people today. Probably trying to earn some extra money before the Reapings. White washed stone buildings of all sorts make up District Four, sitting as close as footsteps away to as far away as hilltops. The smell of freshly baked bread wafts out from the bakery door as a costumer leaves. He gives me a dirty looks as I walk by, as all the rich people do. "Wealthy," my mom calls it. Wealthy is just a nice word for rich people. But I've long since cared about what they thought of me. Still, I can't help but be reminded by the fact that they have everything that I don't.

After twenty minutes of walking, the houses start getting smaller, more worn down, shops with broken windows, are long out of business. The streets are cracked, the paint faded, weeds sprouting out of every corner. Graffiti covers the grey buildings. Sometimes I like to stop and admire them, something beautiful in this run down place.

Turning down an alley, I run into my neighbor and friend, Sam. Friends as in we keep an eye out for each other.

"Hey Alexis," he greets me. Sam is tall, with sandy blond hair and light blue eyes. He lives around here, like me. Also like me, he works on boats for a living like most people do in District Four.

"Hey," I respond. "How's life treating you?"

"Shitty," he says. I laugh. "Tell your mom I said hi."

"Will do," he says. "I gotta go to work, see ya later."

"Later."

I keep walking and unlock the gate to my house. Inside is an old hut with smoke lazily pouring out the chimney. I knock on the heavy, wooden door and rub the cold from my hands as I wait for someone to answer. Hopefully my step-dad isn't home.

My mom answers the door, and then locks it after I walk in. Inside it's warm and cozy, a fire burning in front of a worn down sofa. "Are you hungry" My mom asks. I nod. "And go sit down, you look cold." I do as told and sit down in front of the fireplace. The warmth heats up my numb arms. She comes back with a bowl in her hands and gives it to me. "Thanks," I say.

Heavy footsteps sound, as my step-father stumbles into view. "What's going on?" He grumbles. "Nothing," My mom says, trying to be nice. "Don't lie to me, Helen," he says. Then he turns to me. "What are you doing?" He reeks of liquor and cigarettes. "Gonna go to work." I say flatly.

"Damn right you are, all you do is sit around all day eating my food." I don't say anything; just walk to my room to get changed. I pull on a bathing suit top and undershirt, followed by a t-shirt and sweater. Then a pair of warm pants over my black shorts and walk back into the living room. "Bye, mom," I give her a hug and pull on my jacket. Before my step-dad can say anything I walk out the door and slam it shut behind me.

Half an hour later I'm back at the docks. I spot one of my crewmates and walk over. "Hey Alexis," my friend Jez smiles at me. I can't help but smile back. "How's it goin?" I ask. "Pretty good," he says. "You?"

"Eh, Reaping Day; you know how it is," I say. "Yea," he frowns.

We go over and begin to load crates up the ramp. Halfway through, Paul, one of my crewmates runs down the ramp shouting, "Gangway!"

Behind him comes three more of the crew, chasing him. "Paul, you motherfucker." I stop and watch as they chase after Paul and tackle him to the ground. "Ladies, ladies, get back to work would ya?" The Captain says walking by. Paul jumps out from underneath them and brushes himself off, grinning wildly. "Oh, don't look so smug Paul, they woulda had you if not for me," the Captain says. Jez grins while I burst into laughter. Although Paul is the shortest, he's got the biggest ego.

Once everyone is on deck, we head out onto the water of District Four. The Captain stands behind the wheel, looking out into the open water. A salty breeze kicks by as land gets farther and farther away. The sun is beginning to come out, colours of pink, gold, and orange shine off the waves. I lean on the rail and watch the sunset. It really is beautiful from here.

"Its good weather today," Jez says coming to stand beside me. "Yea," I turn my head to look at him. He has these bright blue-green eyes that make everything feel okay.

"Jez! Alexis!" Paul shouts. "You're on cleaning duty." He tosses us each a mop.

I slosh water from the bucket onto the deck and watch as the wood darkens. "So, you like being a deckhand?" Jez asks me.

"You bet." While cleaning the deck my mind wanders back to my problems. The Reaping, my stepfather, and the bills to pay. When I look back up Jez is already finished. He adjusts his hat and then puts the mop back into the bucket. "You're done?" I ask, looking at him.

"What? You upset that I beat you?"

I snort. "Beat me? How can you beat when we're not even in a competition?" I ask, leaning against the mop. Jez shakes his head, smiles at the ground and then walks away. I shake my head and finish with the mopping. When I'm done I walk over to where my crewmates are standing. It's different than most days; an unusual silence fills the air, the one that only happens one day a year. Their names could be drawn, and if that happened, I don't know what I would do.

"What are we getting today?" I ask. My friend Kali turns to me. "Crab," she says, and then snorts. I laugh. One of the Capitol people must be having a last minute party, to celebrate this year's Hunger Games. We joke around for a bit; it seems to ease the tension in the air.

The morning progressed quickly, and in no time we hauled in the crab, threw the pots back in and were headed home. Just in time for the Reaping. Sometimes I wish I could escape to the sea, and never have to witness another Hunger Games. But I know it would be crazy, stupid to even try.

Paul walks up to me. "Good thing we're leaving right now, cause by the look of it you're gonna need some time to make yourself look more pretty," he says smirking. I slap him upside the head in return. Back at the docks I say goodbye to Kali and then begin to walk home. "Alexis!" Jez walks up to me. "Hey," I say.

"We're headed in the same direction, we could walk together if you want." He says. "That'd be great," I say.

"So how's your family doing?" I ask. "Good, good. We actually got a dog from the shelter. Her name's Ruby"

"Well, I ought to come over and see her sometime," I say.

We talk about more shit, the Reapings, our families. Even about my dead father. The one thing I remember about him was that he always told me to do what's right. I try, but it's hard when you don't know what's right. I'm lucky to have Jez as a friend. At least I know one thing that's right. When I walk in the door I notice my step-father's gone. "Where's Walter?" I ask my mom. She shrugs her shoulders. "Probably left for the Reapings early. But come see the dress I found for you!"

I follow her down the narrow hallway into her bedroom, and flop down on the bed. "Long day?"

"Nah, just tired," I reply. She pulls something from the closet and lays it on the bed. "Isn't it nice?" she asks. I push myself into a sitting position and stare at it. It's black at the bottom and white at the top. I smile. "It's great. Thanks."

"I guess I'll leave so you can get changed. There's stew on the stove if you're hungry."

"Kay," I say, rubbing the back of my neck with my arm. I put on the clothes and look into the mirror. A bit too showy for my likings. Walking to the closet I pull out a pair of shorts and put them on underneath the dress. I finger comb my hair and then slip on a pair of my mom's shoes. If you think I'd ever own a pair of dress shoes your crazy.

It's only twenty more minutes until the Reapings, and a nervous, sickly, feeling sets in the pit of my stomach. The stew remains untouched when my mom walks out in a faded blue dress with her hair up in a bun. "Ready to go?" she asks. I nod, and then walk out of the door.

At the Justice Building I wave a good bye to my mom and make my way over to the sixteen year old section. While on some people's faces is nervousness, others are excitement. I'm part of the nervous crowd; my name's been in there ten times. The Capitol has no pity for the less fortunate. I turn my attention to the stage, and the first thing you notice is our escort, Arabella Gagnon. How could you not, with her bright blue hair, green lips and dress, ridiculously high, high heels, and eyelashes that reach up to her eyebrows. It hurts my eyes to look at her.

Sitting in one of the chairs is District Four's Mayor, Mr. Grant, who is wearing a finely tailored suit which looks like it going to burst at any minute. His receding hairline isn't making him any more attractive. A line of previous victors linger on the stage, but there's one that stands out among the rest. Muscles, bronze skin, golden hair, and those sea green eyes. Finnick Odair, the one who gets all the girls daydreaming about him.

I don't know him very well, but he represents the Capitol and he seems stuck up and arrogant to me. An old woman hobbles across the stage, leaning on her cane. Mags. I don't remember watching her games; I guess I was too young. The Mayors voice interrupts my train of thought, and I turn my attention back to the stage. He rattles out the Treaty of Treason, a long, painful speech that I have heard a thousand times before. Then Arabella walks over to the big glass ball, sticks her hand in and pulls out a name. My heart rate speeds up and I grip the edges of my dress.

"Ariel Hadley."

I breathe a sigh of relief; thankfully it's not anyone I know.

But then I watch as a young girl begins to walk up onto the stage, trying to hold back tears, but not being very successful. A cold feeling creeps up on me and I feel sick. Everybody's expressions are the same, cold, empty. My dad's words come back to me. Why isn't anybody doing anything? Can't they see she's only twelve?

Before I know what I'm doing, I'm running up behind her shouting,

"I volunteer."

I run up to where the 12-year-old girl stands. She stops and stares at me, her brown eyes staring into my blue ones. I bend down to her height, and give her a faint smile. "Go on," I say, nodding my head back to the crowd. "Thank-you," she whispers in my ear, and then runs back into the crowd. I straighten up, hold my head high and walk onto the stage. Every single set of eyes is staring at me, their gaze so intense I just want to run out of there.

"Well, well, well, how exciting is this?" Arabella squeaks. Shut up bitch. I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from saying anything. Wouldn't want to get on the Capitol's bad side now would I?

Arabella runs over to the boy's glass ball, and a little part of me remembers to hope that it's not someone I know.

"Alden Donavan!" She calls out. I don't know him. Alden mounts the stage, and I get a good look at him. He's tall, muscular, brown hair and eyes; some would even say he's good looking. He's got this calm, emotionless look on his face, which impresses me. I'm not too sure if it's a good thing my District partner is strong and not a weakling. "Please shake hands," Arabella says. Alden and I face each other, but he refuses to look me in the eyes. Good. Because I didn't either.

"Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you, the tributes of District Four in the 68th annual Hunger Games!"

Slowly everybody begins to clap, relieved that it's not them going into the Hunger Games. And holy shit. I'm going into the Hunger Games. But before I even have time to think I'm marched off into a room to say my goodbyes. The first person who comes in is my mother, and tears are pouring down her face. I brace myself for what's about to happen. My mom opens her arms I go into them. "You know why I did it, right?" I whisper. She looks at me and pulls away. "No, I do not know why you would do such a thing, going off and getting yourself killed! So please, tell me!" I feel anger bubbling and I try to push it away, but I can't seem to. Why can't she just be supportive of me?

"If dad were here, he'd tell me I did the right thing!" I yell.

"Your father? Your father was a crazy man! No wonder he's dead!" She yells back.

"Don't you dare say that about him! He is a thousand times better than your stupid, fucking boyfriend!"

My mom turns to the door. "Oh, and it's nice to know that my own mother thinks I'm gonna die! What the fuck is your problem? I'm not even in the arena yet!"

The last thing I hear is the slam of the door. I sit down on the couch and rub my forehead. Well that turned out well, didn't it? I take a few deep breaths and calm myself down. The sound of the door opening once more makes me look up, and in comes my neighbor and friend, Sam. A dark look is cast upon his face as he walks up to me. "I'm sorry bout' what happened, but if it means anything you got my support. By the looks of it, she didn't," he says. I guess he's talking about my mother. "Thanks, that means a lot." I don't know what else to say, really. For a moment it's just an awkward silence. "How much money you got saved up?" Sam asks.

"I paid off the rent couple days ago, so that's all good. There's food in the cupboards, and a little money saved up for emergencies, and my step-dad's got some." I say. "Family'll be fine." Referring to my mother, the only real family I have left despite today's earlier argument.

Sam nods his head. "Thanks for seeing me. It's been nice talking to you," I say.

"Nice talking to you too," he says and then gets up and walks out the room. Right after that my Captain comes in. It's a short visit, he wishes me good luck and then he's gone. Then the realization of the situation I'm in finally begins to hit me. My head falls into my hands, desperately trying to hold it together.

I don't realize it when Jez sits down beside me. "Hey," he says softly. I continue to stare down into my lap. I don't want to say goodbye, not to him. Before I know what's happening he's pulled me into a hug.

"Don't worry Alexis, everything will be okay," he mumbles. "How can you say that?" I ask. "Somehow I've only been in this room a half hour and everything, is already fucked up." Jez lets go of me and leans back on the chair he's sitting in. A moment of silence passes before he says, "How'd your fam react?"

"Horrible," I say. "She got pissed off and then stormed outta here. I know, go Alexis, way to fuck things up."

He shakes his head. "She knows you love her. She's just upset cause she doesn't understand."

I look away from Jez to the wall, reminded of another thing she had said. "What?" he asks.

"She thinks I'm gonna die," I say. "Is it true? Am I gonna die?" I look back to Jez to see his blue-green eyes looking right at me. "You're not gonna die, Alexis. You're strong, you can make it." Somehow his words give me hope, because I know he's the one person that would never lie to me. "I believe you can." I shake my head. "I don't know, I just don't know."

"Well I do," he says. I give a short laugh. "You're always so sure of yourself, aren't you?"

Jez smiles. "Aye." He then looks to the Peacekeeper coming in the door and stands up, and I follow. One last hug and then he's gone. I won't see him again for a long time. Maybe not ever. A cold, empty, lonely feeling fills me and it doesn't go away when I walk out to the train. I don't take notice of anything, of the reporters, Alden, or even the mentors. I go straight to my room and collapse on the bed where I burst into tears and cry myself to sleep.


	2. Chapter Two

**Okay so this is really chapter three, cause I'm gonna be adding a lot of chapters together cause they're really short so there will be less chapters but they'll be longer. I changed the stylist from a boy to a girl…. and yeah.**

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><p><em>It just ain't living, and I just hope you know<em>

_That if you say goodbye today, I'd ask you to be true_

_Cause the hardest part of this, is leaving you_

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><p><em>Thump. Thump. Thump.<em>

Footsteps in the hallway rouse me from my sleep. Rubbing my eyes I sit up, wondering what the weather would be like for fishing today. But then I remember yesterday, and where I am. The realization of it all has finally sunk in. I lie on my back and stare at the ceiling trying to find the willpower to get out of bed. I groan. One, two, three. I throw the covers off and run to the shower before the cold can get me. Sadly it does, because I have no idea how to even work the shower. There's gotta be like thirty buttons on the control panel for who knows what. I have the sudden urge to press every single one of them.

But hey, why not? I'm here might as well enjoy it as much as I can. With both hands I hit the buttons like a madman, and then bracing myself I kick my clothes off and then jump in the shower. Closing my eyes I try to relax and try to get out of this misery for a few minutes. Unfortunately that only lasts for about thirty seconds before the shower starts attacking me with soaps, shampoos, and streams of water. I start jumping and gagging on the sweet scent of the shampoos. "Shit!" I yell. I jump out the shower and decide to use the bathtub instead. At least that looks manageable.

Once I've washed all the soap and shampoo off me I wrap myself in a thick, red towel and walk back into the bedroom. There are clothes laid out on my bed. Creepy, there must be cameras in here on something. I make a mental note of that for later and get changed in the bathroom.

"Time for dinner!" Arabella says from the other side of the door, along with loud obnoxious knocks.

"Go away," I mutter under my breath, bending down to lace up my shoes. I take my time; I'm not too particularly thrilled to meet everybody. When I finally step out into the hall, it's empty. I guess I'll find the dining room by myself then. I wander through halls, some with locked doors. I wonder what's in there?

When I find the dining room, I'm the first one there. Why the hell do people call me down here and not show up? I walk over to one of the chairs, pull it out and sit down. I begin to wonder if this is the right room, but then the famous Finnick Odair walks in.

"Hey," he says. I don't reply, I just look at him. He seems unfazed; he just goes and sits down across from me. The whole room is silent. "I'm Finnick, you're Alexis, right?" Ok, first of all I thought he was supposed to be my mentor, and he can't even remember my name? Secondly I don't even see the point of us even trying to make friendly conversation, and thirdly can't he take a hint? "Can you like, knock it off? I didn't come here to be friends with you."

"In that case, I am so, very sorry to have upset you," he says sarcastically. I glare at him. He grins back. Mags walks in, leaning on her cane. "Hey, Mags," Finnick says to her, and then helps her sit down. "Hello, Finnick," she replies, and then turns to me. "So, you are our female tribute this year. I wish I could say it is a pleasure to meet you."

"Me too," I reply.

"You've met Finnick already?" she asks me. "Yes… I have," I say.

"And what do you think?"

"He's very annoying, even though I have only been talking to him for a minute," I say.

Mags laughs. "I'm glad you told the truth."

Arabella and Alden walk in. "Look who decides to show up," I say exasperatedly. Arabella shoots me a glare, and then pulls out a chair next to Alden. At first it's quiet, until Arabella breaks the silence. "You two are so lucky; you're going to have a great time here at The Capitol." Something about that irritates me, and I can't help what I say next.

"It must be my lucky day then," I say sarcastically.

"Oh yes," Arabella replies, and then goes on about all the wondrous things the Capitol has. Sometimes I wonder if everybody in The Capitol aren't complete idiots, and the answer I always get is yes. I resist the urge to bang my head against the wall. Instead I take a look around the table. Alden is quiet, Mags silently listens to Arabella, and when I look at Finnick he catches my eye and grins at me. I look away, unable to hold his gaze. The room were in is nice, from the glass chandelier to the fancy decoration but somehow I feel out of place.

The food comes in, dish after dish, food I've never even seen or heard of. I eat as much as I can, and more after that. I'd figure I could use the extra weight, and hell it just tastes too good not too. When I'm done I sit back in my chair trying not to throw up.

"Just wait till dessert," Mags says. I look at her like she's crazy.

"I think I'll have to abstain," I say. Now Finnick looks at me like I'm crazy, then shakes his head and takes a bite of ice cream.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I ask. "And aren't you supposed to be mentoring?"

Mags jumps in. "Why don't I start? Tomorrow you will meet your stylist, for the opening ceremonies. You both know what that is?" Alden and I mumble a yes and then Mags continues. "Everything will be taken care of, but you want the people to like you."

"How am I supposed to make them like me?" I ask.

"Smile, wave, and don't be a bitch," Finnick says. I make a face. "I know it's hard, but at least try," he says. I raise my eyebrows.

"He's talking about the smiling and waving part, dear," Mags says, giving a stern look to Finnick. Just then Arabella jumps up. "They're replaying the Reapings right now!" And then rushes everyone to the living room. "Sure I was," Finnick finishes sarcastically. I walk so slowly to the living room that I'm the last one there. Everyone is already sitting on the sofas. I go and take a seat on the floor by the fireplace, feeling the heat warm my skin. I notice that Alden still hasn't said a word since we got here, well not to me. I've never seen him around District Four, and he looks to be older than me. To be honest, I don't pay attention to any of my classmates.

The Reapings come on the TV, and first up is District 1. District 1 and 2 are typical Careers. Alden looks like one too, but I don't know if he's been training. District 3's girl tribute is way too skinny, but the boy has a madman look to him. Creepy. Then we come on and it's funny to see myself on TV, knowing that everyone must be watching. I shake off the weird feeling and focus on the TV. District 5, 6, 9, and 11 look average, and surprisingly healthy. But it's the other people that get me. If 5, 6, 9, and 11 look significantly better this year, then they… they look stronger than the tributes from most years. Especially the District 7 tributes, with a towering male and violent looking female.

I pity the thirteen year old girl from 6, and a tiny part of me is happy I volunteered for that girl back in District 4. At least she won't get slaughtered. Finnick sighs and I hear him mumble to Mags. "Johanna must be happy." The TV shuts off with silence. How am I supposed to have any chance, with those people? Mags clears her throat. "We'll talk more tomorrow, but for now you two should get some sleep," she says. Arabella, Alden and Mags get up and leave to go back to their rooms. I stay sitting by the fireplace thinking of home, the long stretch of beaches, fishing every morning. It hurts knowing that I might not be able to do that again. I hear someone cough behind me, and I remember Finnick is still in the room. I drag myself to my feet and then stand there awkwardly unsure of what to say. "I guess we should get some sleep. Big day tomorrow," he says. "Right," I say. We walk down the hallway until we get to me room. "Night," Finnick says.

"Goodnight, Finnick," I say. Just before he turns and leaves he says, "Don't worry, Alexis, things have their way of working things out," and then walks to his room. I didn't expect him to say that. "Thanks," I whisper.

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><p>"Time to get up!" Arabella sings in a high-pitched voice. I moan and pull the blanket over my head. "Shut up," I grumble. I don't want to get up, out of this warm bed, because I already know this day is going to be shitty. And the one after it, and so on until I fucking die. I was just about to fall back asleep when I hear footsteps in my room.<p>

"What the…?" I say, pushing back the covers. I never got to finish my sentence. Icy, cold water splashes me in the face, soaking the sheets and me. I rub the water out of my eyes to see Finnick laughing his ass off. "You think this is funny?" I ask him. Quickly grabbing the bucket out of his hands, I run to the bathroom, fill it with water, and run back into the bedroom. Finnick's back is to me when I walk into the room, and he's too busy laughing to take any notice. When he does, it's two seconds after I dump the bucket on his head. Now I'm the one laughing.

This is the scene Arabella walks in on. "What the hell is going on?" she practically screams. "Hey, I just got Alexis out of bed, like you asked," Finnick says. Arabella pinches the bridge of her nose and says, "Just get cleaned up and I will send someone to clean up your mess." Then she stomps angrily out of the room. Finnick and I look at each other and burst out laughing.

When I get to the dining room I'm the last one there. Finnick is sitting next to Mags and Alden, his hair still wet. "What happened to you two?" Mags asks. "We just got into a little water fight, that's all," I say. "Let's just start eating, your little 'water fight' puts us off schedule," Arabella interrupts. Sometimes I wish she would just shut up. I take a seat next to Alden and fill my plate up with food. He doesn't say a word to me, only to Mags. Breakfast passes quickly, and soon it's time to meet my stylist. "Remember, you want them to like you. You need sponsors," Mags tells me before I'm rushed out the door by Arabella.

I sit down on the table waiting for my prep team. Claudia, Samson, and Proculeius come into the room, chattering and laughing. I'm just about ready to punch one of them in the face. No scratch that, all of them. They scrub me down until there's not a particle of dirt left, remove every single piece of hair off my body, and do my hair and nails. Then they call my stylist, Georgiana, and then run out of the room. I sigh as I look around the cold, white room. I hear the creak of the door, as who must be my stylist walks in.

She has short black hair, black makeup, black shirt, black skinny jeans, and black shoes. Hmm, I wonder what her favorite colour is? She looks young, around my age even. Then again, everyone in the Capitol tries to look younger than they actually are. "Hi, I'm Georgiana, you're stylist," she says. "No shit," I say. She looks offended, but then brushes it off. "Go wait over there," she says nodding towards a sitting area. "Wait for what?"

"Your dress of course," she says. She seems very calm, almost as if she has no emotions. At least she doesn't talk the shit out of me. I go and sit on the sofa. Georgiana walks over with a dress on a hanger and hangs it on an empty rack. "Hungry?" she asks. "No," I answer coldly. Why should I be nice to her? I bet she can't wait for me to die. I hate her sick, twisted Capitol mind.

"So tell me about yourself," she says. "I'm from District 4," I say.

"I know that. Tell me something else." Why is she doing this? She doesn't care. She can't ruin everything I have left. "No," I say. Georgiana shuts up from there, and instead gets up and hands me the dress. "You can put this on."

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><p>Staring back at me is someone unrecognizable. For starters, my face is caked in make-up but other than that I'm wearing a blue dress that flows all around me. My black hair is left down, and my eyes have shades of blue. Swirls and waves are painted on my arms and face. The only downside is how much make-up's been caked onto my face. It reminds me of home, and reminds me of how bad I want to go back there. I play with the bracelets on my wrist, it's my token. I just tied them all together as one and that seemed to work. They all have a memory behind them. But I can't think about that now.<p>

"Time to go," Georgiana says, coming up behind me. Then she grabs my arm with the bracelets on it.

"It's my token," I explain, and then follow her out into the hall. Alden is already there, and I have to say he's actually pretty good looking. All he's wearing are tight blue shorts, and you can see his abs and muscles through the blue swirls and waves that are painted on his body. Arabella ushers us to the Chariot. I feel bad for the horses that are also painted blue. Unfortunately Georgiana has put me into high heels that are a little too high for my liking. I step onto the chariot and lose my balance. Alden comes up behind me and steadies me.

"Thanks," I say. He gives me a slight nod.

"No problem."

That's the first thing he's said to me since we got here. Arabella stands in front of us, careful not to touch the horses. "Be careful," I call out. "They bite," which is a lie. She makes a face and steps away from the horses over to us, adjusting our arms and legs making sure we look alright.

"Perfect," Arabella says with a smile on her face, then steps away as the horses begin to move to the City Circle. Alden places his arm around my back, and I'm about to ask why when the Chariot lurches forward. He lets go once the ride becomes smoother.

"Thanks," I say once more. He grins slightly.

"No problem."

District 1 goes out first, and you can hear the screams from the crowd. They are dazzling, the girl's dress sparkling in the bright lights. District 2 is dressed in Peacekeepers uniforms, but they have been modified to make them look more provocative. Then District 3 goes out ahead of us, dressed in flashing wires and buttons. To me it's all ridiculous; I don't see why we should have to be dressed to silly. We only make those things for the Capitol. But we're next; we go through the opening and out into the City Circle. The crowd cheers and screams, the lights blare. Honestly, I hate it all. It's rowdy, loud, and bright and I hate the audience. It's like being surrounded by monsters, because they sure look like it.

But I try to look happy; I force a smile and wave. The chariots go round the City Circle a couple of times, and then stop in front of President Snow's mansion. President Snow walks up to the balcony and gives us a welcome speech. He opens his mouth and I can hear is bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. When the speech is finished, we go back the way we came. The chariot comes to a stop and Alden steps off then gives me a hand and helps me down. I know I can't say thank-you again, so I try to think of something else to say, but then Arabella runs up and starts telling us how great we were. Does she ever shut up?

After I've showered and rubbed the makeup and paint from my body, I throw on some sweats and a T-shirt I found in the dresser. I'm too lazy to bother with shoes so I just put on socks. I walk down to the Dining room for dinner. I'm the last one there. "Look who decides to show up," Finnick says, mocking me from the first time we had dinner. I can't help but smile.

Sitting around the table is Finnick, Mags, Alden, Arabella, Georgiana and Alden's stylist. I grab a seat next to Finnick and Alden. "Good job tonight," Mags says to Alden and me. "I think it's time to start talking about strategies."

Huuh. Here we go. "Tomorrow you will start Training. First of all, what are your strengths?"

"I've been fishing my whole life," I say, and then look to Alden curious of what he's going to say. "Me too," he says quietly. Like most people in District 4. "Here, stand up," Finnick says. We do as told, and he walks over to us, looking us over. He prods our muscles, pokes our ribs, and turns our heads from side to side. Once he's satisfied he tells us to sit down. "I assume you know how to use a knife and spear?" Mags asks. We both nod. I'm pretty good with a knife, not trying to brag, and ok with a spear. "I'm good with a spear," Alden says.

"Ok," Mags says. "If you're both good with those, there's no reason for you to train with them. Save that for your private session with the Gamemakers." Mags voice is quiet and old, but there's wisdom behind every word, that makes you listen closely because you know what she has to say is important. Especially when your life is on the line. "And for your training, try something you never have done. Use a sword, try hand-to-hand combat. I want you both to try and ally with the Careers. You're from District 4 so it won't be that hard,"

"But most importantly learn your survival skills, without them you will, die."

With that, it's time for bed. I flop down on the bed and try to sleep. Hours pass of tossing and turning. Fed up, I get out of bed and step out into the hallway. I wander the train until I find the kitchen. I decide to go in. There are a few Avoxes inside, but they don't mind me. I grab some bread and walk back out the kitchen, exploring the hallways and mysterious doors. When I'm feeling sleepy I start walking back to my room. Halfway there I bump into Finnick. "Hey," he says. "Hey," I say back.

"Can't sleep?" he asks. I just shrug. "I'll take that as a no." We walk back to my room, but I really don't want to go back into that room, to try and pretend to sleep. I slide down the wall and sit down. Finnick sits next to me. "Why are you still up?" I ask him.

"Life," he says simply. "Right," I mumble.

I've rarely seen Finnick around, back in District 4. Mostly because we live in different parts of District 4, and because well, he's a victor and I can barely afford to live in the shitiest part of town.

"And what could be bothering the great Finnick Odair?" I ask. He shakes his head.

"Maybe another time." I get it. Sometimes things are just too hard to talk about. Or maybe because I have this feeling everything on the train is under surveillance. So I say the best piece of advice I know.

"I wouldn't worry too much," I say. "Things have their way of working themselves out." Then it's silent. I yawn, feeling the effects of the long day.

"You should get some sleep," Finnick says. "Training tomorrow."

"I'll try," I say heading into my room. "Night," Finnick calls before he leaves. I crawl into bed and mumble a good night back before exhaustion takes over and I fall asleep.

* * *

><p>Arabella drags Alden and me down to the Training Center. Inside there are mats on the floor, obstacle courses, punching bags, dummies, and a ton of weapons. While I wait for the other tributes I take a look at the other tributes. They look even bigger and stronger in real life. I try to hide my disappointment. Why me?<p>

District 1 and 2 are already here, scattered around each other, chatting. I feel sick at the thought of trying to be in their alliance. They're just people, I tell myself. Only difference is that they enjoy killing people. Once everybody is here the trainer yells, "Let's get started! You are free to move from station to station. There are trainers to help you. No fighting with the other tributes. Begin." She reminds me of a robot.

There is a camouflage, wrestling, edible plants, rope climbing, target practice, hand-to-hand combat, and a hell of a lot of weapons to choose from. Alden is off wrestling, which he is pretty good at, showing off to the Careers. I already know a lot about knot tying, and I'm good with a knife. So I think back to what Mags said and decide to practice my fire building. It's a lot harder than it looks, but after a long time I finally get it. Fire, check. Onto edible plants. I can impress the Careers later.

The trainer there is nice. She teaches me some basic plant knowledge. "If you're not sure, don't take the risk," she tells me. After that I try camouflage, which was kinda fun. I walk over to the weapons and pick up the bow and arrows. I take a few shots, but it's not really my thing. I sigh and turn away. The rope climbing station catches my eye. I climb up it no problem, unlike some of the others who get tangled and fall to the ground. It reminds of back home in District 4, climbing up the riggings feeling like the tallest person in the world. But in the end I have to come down.

I guess it's time to show off, but at the same time not to give away my biggest skill, aka knifes. I walk over to where the Careers are standing, and grab a spear. Getting a good aim, I throw the spear at the dummy, and it pierces it in the chest. Once I've got the Careers attention, I walk over to the hand-to-hand combat station. I don't think I'm too bad; I've gotten in a few fights a school. It starts off with a few hits and punches, and then proceeds to rolling on the ground and kneeing each other in the stomach. Once we've both had enough we shake hands, panting for breath. "You're fast," the trainer says approvingly. "Thanks," I say then walk over to where Alden is standing with the Careers. After my fight with the trainer they seem to have no problem with me. Guess I'm in.

The bell rings for lunch, and I sit beside Alden with the rest of the Careers. In the alliance it's District 1,2, and the boy from 7. First thing I notice about all of them, is how cocky they are. Alden is not being his regular self, joking around and smiling. But I know it's all an act. I figure it's a good time to get to know my alliance, so I watch carefully. The District 1 boy is Sandor, cocky, arrogant, obsessive, and selfish. The girl, Velvet is fierce, short tempered, and self-absorbed. The boy from 2, Calico is a monster. He's huge, all muscle. His district partner is different. She seems to have the brains all the others are missing. Better watch out for her.

Our table is rowdy, laughing and joking with each other. I keep to myself, having no interest in pretending to like them. After lunch I hang with the Careers and train some more. The time passes quickly, and soon Training is over. I jump up and join Alden in the elevator. He's back to his same old, quiet personality now that everybody else isn't here. I like it better. Not pretending to be someone else.

The elevator is made out of glass, so you can see the whole city beneath your feet. Shiny buildings reach out towards the sky, while others are glimmer with lights. Brightly coloured cars roll down the perfectly paved roads. It doesn't look real, more like something out of a dream. How could something so beautiful be so horrible?

"Pretty amazing, isn't it?" Alden asks. "Yea," I say, dreaming about what it would be like to live here. To never worry about being hungry, money, or work, because everything is just handed to you. The jolt of the elevator wakes me from my stupor. The fantasy disappears, and instead I'm in the complete opposite situation. I'm the victim.

* * *

><p><strong>Finally updated, I know right. Sorry, school's been a drag. Oh yeah, the quote is from "Cancer" by My Chemical Romance.<strong>


	3. Chapter Three

_We're all in the same game, just different levels. Dealing with the same hell, just different devils._

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><p>"What happened today?" Mags asks Alden and I. The second day of training passed, another painful day of putting up with the Careers. Alden, Finnick, Mags, Georgiana, Silvis, Alden's stylists and I are seated around the table. I look up from my food. "Well, today I was rudely awakened, then I took a shower, ate breakfast…" I joke absentmindedly.<p>

"You actually figured out how to work those showers?" Finnick says.

"Nope," I reply. "But other than that, I learned some survival skills, tried swords… and allied with the Careers."

"Everything in the training center is a survival skill in the arena," Mags says. "What about you, Alden?"

"Mostly just hung with the Careers and did some fighting," he says quietly. Mags nods in approval. "What's the arena gonna be like?" I ask.

"There's no way to know, but there will be a water source," she stops to cough. "Something to make a fire, and hopefully, a form of shelter."

Hopefully a form of shelter? I weigh the odds, considering the strength of the tributes this year. It depends on the Gamemakers, really. Either they want no shelter, fast, and bloody or they want drama, to stretch it out a little.

"Water won't always be easy to find, but if they want the games to last they will have some; the same with wood," Finnick says, mirroring my thoughts. I bend down and rub my eyes, having so much to information to take in. "Just find water," he assures me. An Avox comes in with dessert; Ice cream. I thank her when she puts some in front of me. She gives me a funny look before walking away. I scoop up a spoonful of ice cream into my mouth. "Mmhm," I mumble.

"Enjoying that ice cream?" Finnick smirks.

"Yup," I say closing my eyes.

"Tomorrows private training with the Gamemakers," Arabella reminds everyone.

"Show off what your best at," Finnick says. "You need to prove that you're not a weakling that you're worth keeping around."

"Who am I proving this to?" Alden asks, being the quiet one throughout this whole conversation.

"The Gamemakers and the Careers," Finnick answers. "What are you going to do?"

"Fighting," Alden says.

"Good, Alexis?"

"Knives, maybe swords," I say.

"That's fine," Mags says. "Everyone understand?"

Alden and I nod. "Then good night," Finnick says standing up. That night I can't sleep. I toss and turn in the darkness, the bright light of the clock being the only light in the room. Finally I get out of bed and walk to the bathroom. I turn the shower to hot, strip my clothes off and jump in. After the shower I climb back into bed, but it's hours before I fall asleep.

* * *

><p>The waves gently hit the beach while seagulls cry overhead. The smell of saltwater lingers in the air, and the sun is rising sending pinks streaks across the water. It all seems so happy, peaceful. "Alexis!" A familiar voice calls out to me. It takes me moment to realize who it belongs to.<p>

"Dad?" I call out. "Where are you?"

"Over here," he answers. I turn my head in the direction of his voice. He's walking up the beach, towards me. A smile starts to grow on my face. I run up to him and give him a hug. "I'm so happy to see you," he says. "Me too," I say. My dad takes my hand and leads me down the beach.

"How's your mom been?" Dad asks. "You taking care of her?"

"Yea…" I trail off. "But she's got a boyfriend, you know."

"How's he?"

"Horrible," I say, frowning "Why'd you have to leave?" A moment of silence passes.

"Sometimes, in life, things happen and there's nothing you can do about it," he says.

His blue eyes meet mine, hoping I'd understand. I smile sadly back, wishing that he was wrong.

"Alexis. Alexis. Wake up!" I open my eyes. My father and the beach are gone, and instead I'm lying in bed. In a few days I will be in the Hunger Games. I curse the dream, and get out of bed to escape Arabella's shouts at me to wake up. I walk over to the bathroom. "Alexis! Alexis!"

"What?" I ask.

"Hurry up! We can't be late for training!"

"Fine, whatever," I rub my face. "Now go away." Thankfully she skips out of the room. I take a shower, being careful to only push the "on" button. Afterwards I put on black shorts and a light blue T-shirt and then walk to the dining room. Once everyone is seated Mags asks, "You all know what you're going to be doing for the Gamemakers?" Alden and I both answer yes. "Impress them!" I only have time to shovel a few bites of food down my throat before Arabella drags Alden and me to the training center. On the elevator my stomach gives a little jump.

In the Training Room we all have to wait while each District is called, starting from 1. Luckily I'm from Four, so it's not long before Alden is called. I wish him good luck. "You too," he says. The room is filled with quiet chatter, most of the tributes too nervous to do any talking. A tension sits in the air, the sort of feeling of the realization that the competition against each other has started. I sit by myself, and don't talk to anybody. The Careers have already gone and left. I skim my eyes across the remaining tributes. 5 and 6 are pretty average. 7 are Careers, despite their district. We're allied with the guy from there, but the girl refused. The guy and girl from eight talk quietly with the tributes from nine. I look over to 12, to see how they're doing this year. The girl talks nonstop to the guy beside her who's lounging against the wall, though he's not really listening.

He's looking at me.

His dark eyes meet my blue ones, and I can't seem to look away.

"Alexis Montclaire," the robotic voice calls my name. I look away and stand up, walking into the Training Room. The Gamemakers sit high up, drinking spirits and eating. They look down upon me, but that's okay. I've been looked down upon my entire life. Too bored to just throw knives at a target, I think up something more interesting. Dragging over the dummies, I scatter them around me in a circle. I grab a piece of rope and tie it around one dummy's neck, then throw the other side over a beam in the ceiling and catch when it fall down the other side. I tie the rope around another dummy's neck. The first dummy now hangs in the air. I don't pause to see how the Gamemakers are reacting to this. I stand back in the center with three knifes in my hand.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Go.

I throw a knife into one dummy's eye, and then I turn and punch another dummy in the stomach, and then stab it in the throat. Turning to the next dummy I stab it in its pretend heart. Pulling the knife back out I kick another dummy's legs and push it to the ground, throwing my second knife into its head.

Two more left. I sprint forward and drive the knife into the dummy's chest, and again in the throat, slicing the rope that's holding the other dummy in the air. I turn and around and throw my last knife, which embeds itself where the dummy's heart should be.

Panting, I turn to face the Gamemakers. One of them nods looks impressed. But I hear, one of them ever so quietly say, "She couldn't be able to do that if those were real." Anger rises in me. I'd like to see him do better. I bite my tongue before I can. "You may go now, Alexis," One of the Gamemakers says. I don't say a thing as I walk out. It's somehow cooler in the waiting room, away from the eyes of the Gamemakers.

I can feel the District 12's guy's on me as I walk out of the room. It occurs to me that I can't seem to remember his name from the televised Reapings.

I take the elevator down to the fourth floor and walk back to my room. I flop down onto the bed, leaning over to press the red button on the bedside table to order a sandwich. A few minutes later there's a knock on my door. "Come in," I call out. The door opens and an Avox girl with blond hair and a white suit comes in pushing a cart. She lifts the shiny metal covering to reveal a sandwich. I thank her before she leaves. After eating my sandwich I drift off to sleep.

* * *

><p>Quiet knocks on my door wake me up. "Alexis?" Finnick's voice calls out.<p>

"Yeah?" I mumble sleepily.

"Time for dinner."

"Ok… I'll be there in… two minutes."

"I'll be counting. One, two, three…" His voice trails off as he walks down the hallway. I drag myself out of bed and check my appearance in the mirror. My hair is tangled so I quickly pull a comb through it, and then I run down to dinner.

"1:56," Finnick notes. "Just in time."

"How did you do in training?" Mags cuts in. I shrug my shoulders. "Okay."

"What did you do?" Finnick asks me suspiciously.

"Threw some knifes into some dummies and stuff," I say.

"What about you Alden?" Mags asks.

"I did some fighting stuff with a dummy and then threw some spears," he says. Most people in District 4 have some sort of skill with spears, since we use them for fishing. I bet Alden must be pretty good with them. "Nice job," Finnick says.

Georgiana walks in; I haven't seen her in a while. "I finished designing what you're going to wear for the interviews," she tells me.

"Ok," I say.

Finnick laughs. "Ok? Is that the only word you say?"

"No," I say. He raises his eyebrows.

"My point exactly. You're gonna need to say a hell of a lot more for your interview."

"Speaking of which," Mags says. "We're preparing you for your interviews tomorrow. Would you like to be coached separately?" Alden and I look at each other and nod.

"Training scores are probably on now," Finnick says. We all go to the room next door to watch them. Districts 1 and 2 score in the 8-10 range, while District 3's tributes score a 5 and 6. Alden pulls a 9. Everyone cheers and pats him on the back. My picture comes up with a 9 under it. Now everyone's cheering me and patting me on the back. We sit back and watch the rest of the scores. District 7's male gets a 9, while the girl a 7. "Johanna must be happy with that," I hear Finnick whisper to Mags.

The District 8 tributes look scary, with scores to match. Districts 9, 10, and 11 don't get bad scores like they usually do. The District 12 guy scores a 6. Somehow I don't think that's right. He could be pretending to be weak like I have seen in other Games.

The program ends, so I get up and walk back to my room. That night lying in bed, I think of the terrible things I'm going to have to do tomorrow, to get ready for the interviews. I've seen them on TV, all those tributes acting so fake. Now I have to do it. _Do it for your mother. _A voice inside me says. That is who I must think of tomorrow, I tell myself.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry, this chapters kinda short but that's how most of them are going to be from now on. Going through these chapters pretty fast. But yeah, hope you enjoy. If your just reading this please review :) Tell me what you think.<strong>


	4. Chapter Four

**Here's chapter 4. I wanna give a shout out to all my reviewers. :) Thanks for… reviewing haha. You guys are awesome.**

* * *

><p><em>You preach about love, and teach about faith. But all your beliefs are still rooted in hate.<em>

* * *

><p>Breakfast is quite rowdy. Arabella is rushing around more than usual and Georgiana and Silvis are arguing about who knows what. Alden sits quietly and Mags sips her tea. I sit back and eat my pancakes and watch as Finnick stumbles in looking like he just got out of bed. An Avox puts a coffee in front of him as he sits down next to Alden.<p>

"Rough night?" Alden asks, scooping cereal into his mouth. Finnick nods.

"Oh good, your all here," Arabella says. "We can get started. Alden, you go with Mags, and Alexis will go with Finnick. Now go!" Alden leaves with Mags and I follow Finnick into a different room with sofas and some tables. I sit across from Finnick and rest my head on my fist.

"What are we doing again?" I ask, tiredness wearing down on me.

"Interview angle," he replies.

I remain quiet as he looks me up and down, taking a sip of his coffee. He sets it down. "You're going for sexy," he says then stands up. I don't even have time to think about it before he starts asking me questions. He asks about home, my family, my job. "Why don't I just go on and say what everybody's really thinking?" I ask frustrated.

"Say what?" Finnick asks.

"Sponsor me cause I'm sexy, and maybe we'll get a chance in bed later on!"

A look of sorrow crosses his face for a brief second, but then he just shakes it off. We continue with the questions, but they just get harder and harder, and I find myself straining to answer. After a while of trying, I give up; I can't do this. How am I supposed to do this in front of thousands of people with a spotlight in my face? I put my head in my hands and groan. Finnick sits down beside me.

"I don't want to talk about my family, I don't want to talk about my life, and I don't want to talk about my friends," I mumble. Yeah, the family that's fallen apart, the life that's in the process of falling apart and the friends I'll probably never see again.

"Then don't talk about it," Finnick says. "Lie."

We sit there quiet for a moment until I sit up and then Finnick stands up again. "Your family and names will have to stay the same, but everything else you can lie about." He looks at the clock. "Our time is up, but listen. You got the angle down, and now you know what to say."

I look at him, still not entirely convinced. "You'll be fine. Just wing it like I do, now let's go," he grabs my arm and pulls me to the door.

* * *

><p>"Smile!"<p>

"I am!"

"No you're not! If you were, I wouldn't have to keep telling you to!"

I smile.

"Sit up straight," Arabella comes over and adjusts my back. She walks around so she's facing me. The she takes a few steps back. The perfume she's wearing fills my nostrils, and I try my best not to gag. "Now stand up," she says in that pointed, loud voice of hers.

I stand up.

"Now walk towards me," Arabella instructs.

I walk towards her.

"Head high, chest up. Take longer steps. And SMILE!"

I smile seductively, despite wanting to walk right out of there. Arabella is making me wear high heels, which, in my opinion are the stupidest things ever made. I trip while walking and silently curse. But of course, she has to hear me. "Alexis!" Arabella gasps. "Don't ever do that on camera," she hits me on the arm. I give her a dirty look. Oh, if looks could kill.

For the next hour, I master walking in high heels until my feet ache and my face hurts from smiling too much. Once Arabella seems satisfied and says I can go, I rush right outta there.

* * *

><p>At dinner I'm starving, I stuff my face with food. "Stop eating that fast," Mags tells me. "In the arena you need to get used to not having a lot to eat."<p>

I hate how the games are changing everything, down to the tiniest thing. As if they want to break you before you even get in the arena.

"It's time to discuss strategies," Mags says.

"You both are in the Career pack, but there's a good chance you're not going be in there forever," Finnick says. "So we need to talk about what to do when you are in there."

"You need to be aware of everything," Mags says. "No matter how friendly they seem, they can't be trusted. All they care about is winning, and not just them. Everyone." Alden and I are quiet, listening.

"Like I said, you're not going to be with them forever," Finnick says.

"How am I supposed to know when to leave?" I ask.

"When there is less tributes, but especially when there is less Careers. They'll be anxious to win," he says.

"You must be careful if you leave," Mags says. "They will be angry if they find out."

"What about after you leave?" Alden asks.

"Chances are you'll be on your own, which is what I suggest," Finnick answers. "Take supplies with you, you can't survive would them considering you will be on the move."

"And for both of you," Mags says. "You need to remember this. If the Gamemakers want you to get closer or further to a place, run into someone, or kill someone, they won't stop till they get what they want. There's no use in fighting it."

"They give you the pieces to their picture," Finnick says absentmindedly.

The rest of dinner is quiet, Alden and I taking in all the new information.

* * *

><p>The next morning my head is foggy, so I take a cold shower and drink down hot coffee. I go with Georgiana to get changed into my interview outfit. I haven't seen it yet, so I try not to picture how horrible it's going to be. Georgiana runs along in front of me, her high heels clicking on the tile floor.<p>

"Close your eyes," she says, holding out a bag that contains the dress.

"No," I say. What's she gonna do? Sue me for not closing my eyes?

"You know, one day you're going to appreciate the things I do for you,"" she mutters under her breath.

"Chances are I'll be dead before then," I reply. Georgiana ignores my comment like always, and unzips the bag. She pulls out the dress and throws the bag to the floor. It takes me a few seconds to digest what I'm looking at.

"Is that a dress or a shirt?" I ask, abruptly. It's a plain black dress, incredibly short.

"It's a dress, and you're going to wear it," Georgiana says pointedly.

So I wear it, cause there's nothing else I can do.

* * *

><p>The elevator comes to a stop. Through the glass I can see the Capitol, brighter than ever. I take a deep breath, pull my dress down and follow Alden and Arabella out the elevator. Arabella mutters a few things and then leaves. I look around. Twenty-four chairs are sitting near the stage. Alden is talking with the other Careers, so I walk over there, gotta do this alliance business. I'm wearing high heels, and thankfully haven't tripped yet. The District 1 girl is in a purple dress, studded with blue gems that shimmer as she walks. Her shiny, blond hair cascades down her back. Take that away, and what is she? A bitch, an airhead, and too giggly. The District 1 boy is wearing a black vest, black pants and shiny dress shoes. I'm serious, he's just wearing a vest and nothin' underneath.<p>

I don't know any peoples names, just what District they're from. I don't really see why it matters; we're all going to end up killing each other anyways. I take a look at Alden. He's in a white button down shirt, rolled up at the sleeves. Dark, casual jeans and messy hair.

Over the mic Caesar Flickerman tells us all to sit down. This year his face, lips, and hair are dyed green. I sit next to Alden, finding myself annoyingly pulling my dress down. I fiddle with my bracelets, or district token trying not to think of what I'm going to say. The things I'm going to have to say and act to get sponsors. I pay more attention to my bracelets. I tied them all together to make them into one token. It passes the review board.

District 1 is called, and the girl in the sparkly dress walks up to the stage. She's such a floozy I can't help but want to rip my ears off. The male from District 1 is extremely violent, and mentions some pretty nasty things. I bet people will sponsor him just cause they wanna see that. From there I tune out the next few interviews, because I'm so sick of all this fakeness. I'm sick that I have to act it too.

The buzzer sounds for District 3's interviews, so that means I'm up. I stand up, and pull my dress down. I put on a seductive smile.

"Alexis, why don't you come on up?" Caesar says, his voice booming around the building.

"I'd be stupid not to," I say to him once onstage. Which is true. "I mean, who wouldn't want to meet this lovely crowd?"

"Why don't you take a seat?" he asks.

I smile at him and sit down. The bright lights glare into my eyes, the audience looks like it goes on forever, and this dress is uncomfortable. "What are you wearing tonight?"

"Well, my amazing stylist Georgiana made this lovely dress for me," I force the words out.

"How about you stand up and give us all a look?" Caesar says. I know what he's doing. But I don't if it's a good thing, showing off to get sponsors or showing off to take advantage of me? Either way I stand up, with one hand on my waist and turn in a circle. Once the audience's cheers die down I sit back down.

"It sure is nice to have you here!" Caesar says.

"It's true then," I respond.

"What is?"

"Everyone says you're such a gentleman, and I've got to agree."

Caesar grins and points at me. The audience cheers. "Isn't she something?" he remarks.

"So, Alexis. What's life like back home for you?" I think for a moment. Say I work on a fishing boat? Nothing sexy about that. Talk about my mom? No one cares.

"I'm so happy to live in District 4. It's so beautiful there. Long, flowing beaches, sunsets and the open ocean," I say.

"Beautiful, beautiful," Caesar says. "Now you're not just a pretty face, are you? A training score of 9, how about that?"

"Let's just say I kicked some ass," I smile. The crowd laughs, and the buzzer goes off.

"Alexis Montclaire, everybody!" Caesar yells out. I walk back to my seat and sit down, tugging my dress down, since it's been riding up my whole interview. "How'd I do?" I ask Alden. "Perfect," he gives me a half smile then walks up to the stage.

"Hello, Alden!" Caesar greets Alden.

"Hey, Caesar. Nice to finally meet you," Alden says smiling back. Alden's got this boyish charm to him, and that's no doubt his angle. He goes over and shakes Caesar's hand.

"What do you like about the Capitol so far?" Caesar asks.

"The people of course," Alden says with his grin. The crowd goes crazy. "The foods good too."

"So, what's life like back home? You got a lady waiting for you?" Caesar winks.

"Not at the moment, but I wouldn't mind taking one of these lovely ladies home with me," Alden smiles at the crowd as the ladies go crazy. I know he must be joking at that, because Capitol people… are just so gross I can't even call them humans.

"Sounds like you have plans to win?"

"Oh yeah."

Alden's buzzer goes off and he sits back down next to me. "How'd I do?" he asks.

"Perfect," I say.

The rest of the tributes go up, flirty, sweet, violent, smart, monstrous, all just a blur. I know none of them are like that. I bet that sweet girl will be running around stabbing people once we're in the arena. District 7 catches my eye, though. Johanna Mason's tributes. What a pair those two; just the perfect people for the arena. The girl pretty and athletic, the male huge and violent. I know the Careers invited him into our alliance. And, as always there's the one weak tribute. She sticks in my mind, because I pity her. The girl from 11, in a pretty dress and face caked with makeup just looks out of place, something the opposite of what it should be.

I rub my face, messing up my makeup but I don't care.

The last time I pay attention is when the District 12 boy goes up. Caesar calls him Nyx Aviary. His angle is mysterious, and he's playing it perfectly. I can't read his dark eyes, and they make me wonder if he's playing a character or being his own. He looks to be 16, my age and is one of the stronger ones. To go with his dark eyes he's got midnight black hair, tanned skin and decent muscles. Ok, a little more than decent. _Don't get attached to people, _I warn myself. Why am I telling myself this? I haven't even talk to him. In training I barely saw him. I don't even remember him being there. I shake him out of my head and focus on other things. Then it hits me; it's the arena tomorrow. I haven't even had time to think about it, being rushed this way and that.

Suddenly I've had it. The lights are too bright, the air is too hot, this dress is too short, these heels are too high and the arena is tomorrow. I'm so angry at the Capitol, for making me be here, and making me do all these stupid things. Angry tears well up in my eyes, and it feels like the heat is suffocating me. The interviews finish, and I kick off my heels and rush to the elevator.

You'll never guess who's there. He looks taller than looking at him from his interview. His dark eyes look more intense. He leans against the glass, the bright lights of the Capitol his background. I can feel him watching me, judging the expression on my face, the pair of heels in my hand, and the dress I'm wearing. The doors close behind me and for a moment we just stand there, him watching me and me trying not scream with all the anger inside. I walk away from the door and stand a little ways apart from him.

"Hey," he says. "I'm Nyx."

I lift my eyes to look at his face. "I'm Alexis," I say, forcing a not-so convincing smile onto my face. He doesn't smile in return, so I know he can see right through me. The elevator comes to a stop on the 12th floor. "Maybe I'll see you tomorrow," Nyx says, and then walks out.

"Maybe," I whisper. Caesar's words echo in my head. An interesting games this will be.

When I get to level 4, I run into Finnick. "Hey where'd you go after the interviews?"

"You know, just had to get outta there," I respond. "I'm tired, gonna go to bed."

He nods. "If you need anything, just come find me."

I go to my room, shower and change. In bed I toss and turn, suffocated by the blankets. A million questions keep me up. What will the arena be? What weapons will I get? What will the Careers be like? I'm desperately hoping for water, but there's nothing I can be sure of. But I need sleep. I lay completely still hoping to fall asleep. Instead, something else happens. There are voices outside my door.

"I know you can only get one tribute out alive." Quietly I get out of bed and put my ear up against the door. I recognize Alden's voice. "And?" a pained voice says. That's Finnick.

"I want you to choose her. I'm okay with it," Alden says. A moment of silence passes.

"I'm proud of you, Alden. If your parents were here, they would be too," Mags says. Then I hear the three of them embrace, then footsteps, then silence. Only the sound of my breathing. I sink to the floor, not believing what Alden just did. He just gave his life for me.

Why? I don't know.


	5. Chapter Five

**Here's chapter 5! Sorry it took so long to write this, I had to keep stopping, waiting, and reviewing cause there's so much I had to remember to put in this chapter. Anyways, hope you like it.**

** bbymojo haha that's actually where the idea for this story and character came from, when I was reading Catching Fire… but then it turned out Finnick had Annie so I just changed it.**

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><p><em>This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill, fifteen percent concentrated power of will, fifty percent pain, and a hundred percent reason to remember the name.<em>

* * *

><p>"Alexis."<p>

I open my eyes and with it the realization comes flooding in, of today. "Yea, what?" I mumble.

"Nothing, I'm just glad you got outta bed this morning," Finnick says.

"Actually," I say. "I am still in bed." He grabs my arm and pulls me out of bed. "Ok, ok," I say, rubbing the sleep from my eyes and walking over to the bathroom.

"Be in the dining room in ten," Finnick calls, and then leaves. I take a cold shower to wake myself up, then I walk to the dining room where everyone is already there. I take a seat across from Mags and start eating. I don't know how much food there's going to be in the arena.

"You both remember your strategies?" Finnick asks. Alden and I nod.

"Alexis," Mags says. I look up. "We don't have much time, so I will tell you this now. You have to remember what you're fighting for. It will keep you strong."

What am I fighting for? It's easy to answer, to go home and see my mom, my friends. I can't die here. Arabella walks in. "It's time to go to the hovercraft," she says excitedly. We all rise. I walk with Finnick, and Alden walks with Mags, going separate ways. I hug Mags and Alden. If I hadn't heard that conversation last night, it would be weird to hug Alden, considering we're going into the arena. Then I step back and follow Finnick.

"I guess you heard the conversation last night," he says.

"Yeah," I say. "How do you know?"

"We were outside your door. It was the night before the arena, no one sleeps at that time," he answers. We come to a stop at a door at the end of the hallway. "When you're in there," Finnick says. "Don't hesitate. They won't." I nod. Then,

"Thanks," I say. "For everything." We hug, and then I push open the door. Georgiana is waiting in the room. I take one look at the clothes on the rack, and I know it's going to be cold. There's a thin long sleeve shirt, a thick fleecy sweatshirt, and a huge poofy winter jacket with shiny lining and a fur-lined hood. There are two pairs of pants, one with the same material as the sweatshirt, and one like the poofy jacket. Thick socks and boots made for the cold. Thin gloves, but warm material. A sinking feeling creeps up on me. How am I supposed to do anything in those clothes?

An Avox comes over with a needle, and inserts a tracker in my arm leaving a small bruise. I get changed into the clothes, feeling sweaty immediately. Thankfully, it's not as heavy as it looks. The boots are lightweight but warm. I walk over to the tube, take a deep breath and then stand inside. My heart is beating fast. Faster every time a second passes on the timer. The glass closes around me. I want to close my eyes but there's nowhere to hide. Everything goes black for a second. Then suddenly it's white.

Blinding white, everywhere you look. It takes my eyes a few seconds to adjust. To realize the white is snow, hills and hills of it right in front of me. It seems to go on forever. To my left is a forest, trees painted white. Stretching out from the right of it are mountains, looking like someone out of a picture rather than real life. To my right, beside the mountains, is a lake. Beside the lake is a never-ending field of ice. The only shelter is a cluster of trees. And right in front of me is the Cornucopia, gold and gleaming, the snow around it reflecting gold. It taunts us, with all its riches. The wind howls across everything.

I guess I got my wish of water. Except that it's all frozen.

"Ladies and gentleman, welcome to the 68th annual Hunger Games," Claudius Templesmith's voice booms around the arena. I'm in the Career pack, which usually means we stick around after the bloodbath; the other tributes want to get outta here. Not too sure about this year, cause if the other tributes don't leave the games will be done by the end of the day. I bet the Capitol audience would like that. Just to be sure I make eye contact with Calico, who's right beside me. He nods to the Cornucopia, and I nod back. The "sweet" District 5 girl is on my right. I take one quick glance at all the surrounding tributes and items laid out before the countdown is almost over. I spot some knifes a little ways in. My goal. Food and blankets can wait, there'll be some after.

10… 9… 8… 7… 6…

I take a deep breath and get ready. Remember all the stuff Mags and Finnick told me. I don't think about right and wrong, all that matters is survival.

5… 4… 3... 2… 1…

The gong sounds and I'm off. I run fast, heart beating in my ears, adrenaline and determination running through my veins. I grab the knifes off the ground, and turn around; I've had my back open for too long. Chaos has erupted, everyone is fighting someone else. The girl from 11 has grabbed a bow and is running around firing arrows at everyone. What a fantastic way to piss people off. Since I'm the only one not fighting anyone, she starts firing arrows at me. I run the opposite direction as I feel arrows whizzing past my head.

Soon she gets bored of running after me and starts shooting arrows at someone else. I slow down to a walk, not wanting to stop right in the middle of the battlefield. The District 6 boy runs past me, carrying a few items from the Cornucopia. The Careers must have been too busy to notice. And here, I don't know what to do. I can't bring myself to kill him. But the others wouldn't hesitate, and what would happen if they knew I just let him get away. All around me the cries of pain, blades on bone, and the splatter of blood are clouding my mind, making it hard to think. Through it, only one thought is in my mind. I need to win.

I need to win. My legs begin to run towards the District 6 boy. He looks over his shoulder, and I can see the fear flash in his eyes. I push that away, only one thought in my mind. Once I'm close enough I push him to the ground and pull out my knife. I pin him down and drag my blade across his throat. Quick and easy. He struggles, slicing me in the arm with a blade that rips my jacket but just brushes the skin. I don't notice; I don't care. I bring the knife over his neck another time to make sure he's dead. His blood leaks down his neck to stain the snow beneath him and his eyes stay open, fear frozen in them. I get up quickly and look around.

Most of the tributes have left, only a few still fighting. The Careers are around the Cornucopia, fighting off tributes with spiked and sharp weapons. Ugly grins appear on their faces when their opponents cry in pain. The District 7 boy is a little ways away, fighting another tribute. All around them is blood, on the snow, running down their white clothes. I guess everyone else is smart enough to leave instead of staying to fight.

When I get to the Careers, Sandor is wiping blood of his sword. It's in his blond hair too. I turn away to see Blaze walking over with the boy from 7, kicking a body out of the way. "He's with us," she says. Alden comes to stand beside me. I'm glad he's still alive; to have one person I can trust. Or can I even trust him?

Look at me, paranoid on the first day. I try to be surprised by nothing, but there's too much to be surprised by.

"Let's gets this stuff and go find shelter!" Sandor shouts. He seems to be the leader. I load myself up with supplies and follow Sandor and the rest of the Careers to the trees. Our boots crunch in the snow. At the edge of the forest I turn around, one last look at the battlefield before it's all gone.

It used to be white, but now it's red. All red. You can see where fights broke out, though the tributes that are still alive are long gone now. Bodies lay on the ground, bent in weird angles, missing limbs, while weapons are scattered around. The Cornucopia is ransacked, blood dripping down one side but still gleaming gold.

"Alexis! You coming?" Alden shouts, walking behind the Careers.

"Yeah," I say, turning my head and following behind him.

* * *

><p>Six cannons fire, one by one. Six people dead. Somewhere their families will be mourning them. I try not to think about it, but sitting here staring at the fire it's pretty easy to.<p>

Our campsite is at the edge of the forest next to the lake, hidden by the trees but still in view of the lake. A couple of tents are set up and all the supplies are in one big pile. The girl from 1, Blaze, and Calico are arguing about the supplies. I stayed out of it, with the excuse to make the fire. Alden is out getting wood, while Sandor and the boy from 7, Alijah are talking. The feeling of adrenaline is gone, and now the cold seeps in, chilling me to the bone. It's weird; in District 4 it rarely snows. I wiggle my toes to keep them awake.

Eventually I can't stand my own thoughts so I get up and help the others with the supplies. When I turn around Blaze is pushing Calico into the great unknown, obviously pissed off at something. I walk up to the girl from 1, whose name I can never remember. "What stuff is there?" I ask.

"Uh, well there's three sleeping bags, dried fruit, crackers, three bottles; empty, a couple of pots, some bread, apples, nets, a lot more food, blankets, an extra jacket, matches, two first aid kits, four backpacks, iodine, three flashlights, night goggles, and a ton of weapons," she says gesturing to each thing as she says it out loud.

"Alright, I'll sort the packs," I say, picking up a bag. "And what's your name again?"

"Velvet," she says. I nod, ok. In the packs I put the first aid kits, flashlights, matches, all the stuff that isn't food or weapons. Biggest reason I don't put any food in is to avoid suspicion. I'm almost done when Velvet starts talking to me.

"What's District Four like?" she asks. Oh no, please don't talk to me. "I hate you, you're annoying," is what I want to say, but I can't.

"You know," I say. "Beaches and stuff."

"I never got your name," she tries again.

"Alexis," I say bleakly. After that she stops talking to me. When I'm done I throw the packs and sleeping bags into the tents for safekeeping; as safe as it gets out here. I sit down next to Alden, who's in front of the fire poking at it with a stick. He's got a purple bruise on his face.

"Woah!" I say, "What happened to you?"

"It's nothing," he says. "Just ran into Calico and Blaze in the woods, Calico thought I was someone else."

I settle back down for a little bit. "So, what's he look like?" I ask, grinning. Alden laughs. "I got him a lot more, but damn, he hits hard." Right then Blaze and Calico walk in.

"Where were you?" Sandor asks.

"Checking out the area," Blaze responds. Sandor goes back to talking with Alijah, when I see Blaze roll her eyes. I know that was her idea, and I know she's smarter than people give her credit for. I make another note to stay away from her.

"Alright everybody listen up!" Sandor yells. "We're going out, someone needs to stay and watch the supplies."

Everyone goes quiet; no one wants to volunteer. I'd rather stay here but they'd all get suspicious.

"Fine, I'll stay," Alden says pissed off.

"Now let's go kill these motherfuckers!" Calico yells and runs off into the woods. We all trek behind, and as much as I don't want to do this I'm glad to finally get moving, it's so cold I think my toes are gunna fall off. It's dark by the time we spot someone.

"Look," Blaze says, pointing to a trail of black smoke drifting up into the air, obvious against the white of everything. We hurry over in that direction, staying a little ways away as to not get noticed.

"Me and Alexis will take that side," Sandor whispers, gesturing to the right. "Alijah and Velvet you guys take that side, and Blaze and Calico take the other one. Now go." That leaves one side open. Fuck, how much stupider can he get?

I follow behind Sandor, trying not to snap any branches. The crunch of the snow is loud enough. Through the bushes I can see a fire blazing; its warmth is tempting. Two people are sitting around the fire, I recognize them as the girl from 8, and the girl from 9. Before I have time to think any further, Calico suddenly charges forward from outta nowhere. Clearly, their taken by surprise, the girl from 8 jumps up while the girl from 9 sits there, eyes wide open letting out a scream. The others charge forward, Blaze goes for the girl from 9 and she's dead before I even get there. Velvet chases after the girl from 8, whose running in the direction that no one covered. Meanwhile, Sandor having all the confidence and pride in the world doesn't bother to follow after them to help Velvet.

I stand by myself, feeling uncomfortable standing near the others. Any one of them could whip outta knife at any time. Velvet's boots crunch in the snow, announcing her return. She keeps her eyes to the ground, not wanting to look at anybody. Sandor sees her and stands up straight.

"I didn't hear a cannon fire," he says, his eyes narrowing.

"You let her get away?" Calico roars. I'm glad that girl got away. Or am I? She's my enemy, I want her dead. But I don't. But I'm supposed to. Frustrated I abandon my thoughts to see Calico still yelling at Velvet, madder than before. Velvet looks like she's about to cry.

"Why are you even here? We should just leave you here, right now!" he yells. Sandor isn't even paying attention; he's off talking to Blaze. It sounds like Calico's just about to kill her when Alijah steps in.

"We don't have time for this," he says, standing between Calico and Velvet. Calico eyes Alijah, shakes his head and pushes past him.

"Let's go"

Its pitch black by the time we reach camp. I don't like it, the sounds coming out from nowhere, the not knowing of what's around you. When we get back there's food over the fire, while Alden's practicing with a spear.

"How many?" he asks.

"Just one," Alijah says calmly. Alden shrugs his shoulders and goes back to practicing with his spear. Everyone gathers around the fire to eat. The anthem plays, and we all look to the sky as a giant screen flickers to life. First up is the girl and boy from 3, then the girl from 5, the boy from 6, and the girl from 9. Five dead the first day. This year it's the stupid one's that go first. That's why it leaves me wondering how these buffoons are still alive.

This means Districts 1, 2, 4, 7, 8, 10, 11, 12, the boy from 5, the girl from 6, and the boy from 9 are still alive. 19 tributes still alive. Wow. This is going to be a long games…

"Who's taking the first watch?" Sandor asks. If I take it now, then it wouldn't be my turn for a while, which makes it harder to leave. And there's no just volunteering to keep watch. We Careers aren't that nice. So I keep quiet.

"I'll take it," Calico says.

"I'll take the second one," Blaze cuts in.

That night Velvet, Calico, Alden and I go inside the tent. Velvet gets as far away from Calico as she can. I sit next to Alden, trying to ignore the cold. Sandor comes in the tent and climbs into a sleeping bag. The three of them are out like a light. It quiet outside, so Blaze must be sleeping. I relax a little more.

"How you like the arena?" Alden asks me quietly. I wish we could skip past this all this stupid conversation, but everyone will be watching. So I play along.

"It's cold," I say, forcing a smile onto my face.

"Here, take this," he says, tossing another blanket to me.

"Thanks."

"You gonna be okay?" Alden asks, staring me deep in the eyes. It's always harder lying to someone when you gotta say it with your eyes.

"I'll be fine."

He leaves me alone after that. But every time I close my eyes, all I can see are the lifeless eyes, the dead bodies covered in blood. I fall asleep when the sun comes up, simply because my eyes can stay open any longer.


	6. Chapter Six

_Run fast for your mother, Run fast for your father, Run for your children all your sisters and your brothers. Leave all your love and your longing behind, You can't carry it with you if you want to survive_

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><p>I wake up to coldness. Looking around, Velvet and Calico are still asleep. Since there's no point in going back to sleep, I get up even though my eyes are burning from lack of sleep. I'd take a Monday morning over this one anyday. When I step outside, Alijah's sound asleep, and Sandor's sitting in front of the fire. Alden is off cutting firewood with an axe. I sit across from Sandor.<p>

"Where'd Blaze go?" I ask. He looks at me.

"Off checking a place out," he says, looking away. I rub my eyes and look for something to do. Alden's finished chopping the wood, now he's carrying over here. I get up to help him, shaking the cold from my legs as I walk.

"Thanks," he says. We're almost done when Blaze appears, tromping through the snow.

"I've found it," she calls.

"Found what?" Alden asks, dropping the last bit of wood into the pile.

"A place where tributes might be," Blaze replies.

"Which is where?" Sandor interrupts.

"The place with the trees. On the ice," she replies eagerly. I know what she's talking about. The cluster of trees, far out on the huge field of ice. I guess no one would suspect anyone living there, or even go all the way out there, just to look for tributes. But since we're the big, bad Careers, we have to. Blaze runs into the tent and wakes everybody else up. She's in such a hurry we eat breakfast on the way there, everyone except for Alijah who stays to watch the supplies.

On the way there I feel like I'm gonna pass out. It's a struggle to keep my eyes open, and trekking through the snow makes me hot and cold at the same time. It reminds me of the time in District 4, where I had to jump into the freezing water to help this guy that'd fallen in. At first I remember feeling cold, that slowly gave way to numbness. But after a while it stopped, it was warm, a burning, cold heat. I also remember the panic that came with it.

I feel the exact same looking out onto the field of ice.

It's just so… endless and empty. Who knows what's beneath it all. I look away, trying to get my head straight, but I end up looking at the Cornucopia field, where the bloodbath was. It throws me off for a second; looking so different than the last time I saw it. The bodies and weapons are gone; all the red's been brushed over with new snow. Like nothing ever happened.

I follow the other to the edge of the ice, bending down to see how thick it is. About four inches deep.

"It's thick enough," I say out loud. It is, but I don't like the dark water underneath, and the fact that the Gamemakers control everything. _Don't be stupid, _I tell myself. What fun would it be watching all of us drown?

"Then what are we waiting for?" Calico asks, charging forward. The rest of them follow behind, walking like they have not a care in the world. I walk slowly, keeping my eyes on the ground just waiting for the ice to crack. Velvet agitates me; she's annoyed at her lack of "beauty sleep" and is stomping across the ice. I can feel myself wince every time her foot hits the ice, and desperately wanting to punch her in the face. But now is not the time. After a while it seems okay, so I look up. Up ahead, under the ice it's somehow darker, a shadow gliding towards us.

I stop walking and rub my eyes, unsure of what I'm seeing. Then suddenly a small crack appears in the ice, growing bigger. Almost like something's pushing its way out… The ground rumbles beneath my feet. The ice begins to crack, splitting out in every direction. Then it goes quiet. We all look at one another, frozen to our spots.

Suddenly it's an explosion, chunks of ice fly through the air. I cover my face with my arm until it's over. When I look back, my blood runs cold. In front of me's a seal, but no ordinary seal. It's combined with some other sort of animal; it's a mutt. It has sharp blades running all over its body, and silver fins. Falling out its mouths are razor sharp teeth. Its stench penetrates my nostrils, making me gag.

Then the mutt looks at me. Its eyes are bloodthirsty, red. They glow with unnatural power. I take a few steps backwards.

"RUN!" I scream and turn around and take off. The mutt lets out a bloodcurdling roar. Sandor and the others are close to follow. I run as fast as I can, not feeling so tired anymore. The only thought is to get away from the mutt. I can hear its fins thumping and breaking the ice, splashing forward eager to kill us. This only makes me run harder. A sudden scream fills the air; it sounds like Velvet. I stop running and turn around. The mutt's caught up with Velvet, and it's almost got her. I can help her. Save her life.

I take a step forward. What am I doing? This is the Hunger Games, she's my opponent. I need her dead. I turn back around, and run to where the others are standing, Velvet's screams following my every footstep. They're already off the ice, stood watching the scene behind me. I look to see that the mutt has gottin its jaws around Velvet's stomach, and is knawing away at her legs. Blood and guts ooze from its mouth, but the worst part is that Velvet's still alive. The look on her face makes me regret not helping her.

But… this means I'm one step closer to winning. No! _Don't think like that, _I tell myself. Other people's deaths aren't supposed to make you happy.

"Let's go," Sandor says, turning away. So we get away, the mutt too busy eating Velvet to care.

* * *

><p>"Where are we going now?" Calico asks.<p>

"Where do you think we're going?" Sandor says, annoyed. I don't understand why he's mad, he didn't even like Velvet. I don't say anything though; just thinking of her brings back the ugly visions in my head. The ones that are happening right now.

Her cannon goes off as we walk. No one says a word.

* * *

><p>We're climbing up one of the mountains when Calico finally says something.<p>

"Couldn't we just do something easier, like look through the forest?"

Blaze who would usually respond right about now, keeps quiet. She's been quiet ever since the ice thing didn't turn out so well.

"If you were another tribute, would you hide in the forest, or the mountains?" Sandor asks, stopping.

"The forest," Calico replies stupidly.

"You dumbass, why would you go to the forest? There's nowhere to hide, you can't climb trees, and there's no shelter," Blaze interrupts. Didn't take her that long. Calico sinks back into silence. After what seems like hours of hiking, Alden notices something.

"Look," he points to a bush, stripped of berries. But that's not all. I look real close at the snow around it. It has a flat, swishy quality to it, like someone's trying to hide footprints. Calico rushes forward, followed by Blaze and Sandor. Alden takes the rear. We follow that trail, and being the Careers we don't bother to cover up our own footprints. I hold my knife in my hand, not knowing what we could encounter. This path takes us around to the left side of the mountain, which is right next to the pointless field of snow. Wait, what am I saying? This is the games; it's probably there for a reason.

I don't have time to finish my thought because suddenly, out of nowhere three tributes come rushing at us. The girl from 6 jumps on Calico, pushing him to the ground. Blaze and Sandor run past him, not bothering to help, only to get to the other tributes. They're the girls from 11 and 12, but unlike the other tributes we'd encountered, these ones don't run away from us; they run towards us. Blaze and Sandor accept the challenge and the four of them start fighting. Sandor has his sword, while Blaze has a bow and arrows. One of the girls has curved blades, which is something new.

Alden helps Calico with the girl from 6, so I go over to where the Blaze and Sandor are, as backup. Or maybe just to look like I'm doing something. But I keep my fists up, knife in one hand. I watch Blaze and Sandor get slashed by those curved blades about fifteen times. Their white clothes drip with blood. It's when Sandor's hit misses when the girl with the curved blades turn to me. I block her hit with my arm, the end of her blade cuts into my arm. I barely feel it. We exchange hits, back and forth. A cannon goes off, and the girl in front of me's face knowingly turns into a grimace. That's my opening. I go for it, stabbing my knife into her ribcage, pushing her backwards. I can feel the knife tear through the fabric and into flesh.

Blaze grabs the girl around the neck, dragging her to her. I walk away, leaving the girl to Blaze and Sandor. Alden is standing by Calico, watching him cut through the girl from 6's chest. Blood begins to spurt from her chest as Calico reaches in and rips out her heart. Her cannon goes off. Alden turns away quickly.

But I see it. The look of disgust on his face. And me, I don't even know what to feel. Too many emotions are fighting to be on top. I don't know what Calico sees when he looks at me.

"I've always wanted to try it," he says; a grin on his face. I can feel myself losing it, but I desperately know I can't. So I choke it down and turn away.

Another cannon goes off, which must be the girl I fought. Sandor and Blaze walk over; their expressions don't even flinch when they see Calico.

"We better get going," Sandor says. "It's getting dark."

I walk with Alden the way back, him being the only one I can stand.

* * *

><p>"What happened ?" Alijah asks, soberly watching us come back covered in even more blood.<p>

"First a mutt, then we ran into three tributes," Alden answers sitting down in front of the fire. The rest of us do the same. I stuff my face with food, having not eaten practically the whole day. The anthem comes on. Toda there are 4 faces shown; Velvet, the girl from 6, 11, and 12. Nine dead so far. Fifteen left.

That night Blaze and Calico are on guard duty. Lucky for me I fall right asleep, exhausted from today. But just before I close my eyes, I see those four girls.

* * *

><p><strong>Yes, finally. I've been a lousy updater. I don't know about you, but my summer's been horrible so far. Also, story wise you might have noticed I changed the number of deaths each day, and who. Reason being is because when I was writing this story the first time, I didn't keep a list of the deaths. But now I do, and the math has been painful. Just a tip if you're thinking about writing a Hunger Games story.<strong>


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